Why I Decided to Blog

I wrestled with the thought of making this blog for quite some time now. Then it occured to me that I rarely do things for myself. So, I'm sorry if this seems cold, but this is for me. I don't care what you think or feel about anything I write in here. For a long time I've had dark thoughts and horrible moods, but I am the "happy" person. I strike you as the funny, lovable one. The smart one who has it altogether. But I am far from that. Sometimes all I want is to be alone, which in turn kills me because I hate loneliness. I am sometimes very disturbed and broken for no apparent reason. I've been told I need to let it out, so that's what I'm doing. I am publicly letting it out. This is my attepmt to heal myself through words, and pictures, and videos, and whatever I want. This is MY page. I really am trying to let myself live life to the fullest and not waste one day. Some of the things I say might surprise you, or not. There are some days I love life and some days I hate it. I need to talk about it all. I need to learn to slow down and enjoy the things that may be gone tomorrow. So this is my attempt, before I am put on pills or therapy and the things I don't believe in, this is my attempt to find peace and just live.